Rubbish Talk

I read, I write, I sketch. For fun.

Who and Why

Hi.

My name is Carissa.

I am an Indonesian who lives in Indonesia. In case you’ve never heard of Indonesia, it’s the archipelago close to the south end of Asia Continent.

Why did I decide to blog?

I decided to blog to change my attitude towards life.

Earlier this year, I read a book by Angela Duckworth titled Grit. Some of you may have read it, but if you haven’t, go read it, it’s a life-changing book. Or at least, it was for me.

Basically Grit points out with detailed explanation what successful people in the world have one thing in common. And as you can probably predict, that one thing is Grit.

While I was reading the book, I could see myself in it. But not in a good way. In fact, I saw myself in every bad example Duckworth used. I was pessimistic, I was fix-minded, and I valued natural talent more than hard work.

I had come to realize that I never once in my life worked hard for something worthy. I never targeted anything for myself. I mean, I was an okay student at school and I also was an okay employee when I worked for a company. But that’s it. Never in my life I wanted something so bad and stayed doing it and actually strove for it.

Now, if you asked me why, I guess the answer would be because I was afraid. I was afraid to dream anything because I felt like deep down I always knew that I would have failed if I tried. I thought, by not trying, I let people (or as a matter of fact, myself) think that if I tried I would have been great. Which I knew by heart that that wasn’t the case. The truth was, I was afraid of failures. I was afraid to find out that I was not that good, that I was never that good.

Grit slapped me right in my face hard. It woke me up that no one, and literally no one was already good at the outset. People practice, people train, people do something to be good, to get where they are.

So here I am, in my 30th year of life, searching for one thing to settle my Grit in. And hence this blog. I’ve always loved to write, but to be a writer is one too bold of a dream to undertake. Even to only admit that, it requires the courage I don’t yet have. I am embarrassed of what people would think of me. (Again, wrong attitude. You see, I keep falling into the same pit.)

Writing this, putting this out, allowing people to actually read this makes me feel deeply unsettled. It’s terribly scary stepping out of comfortable zone. Yet here I am exposing myself to many uncomfortable failures. But you know what, I now write because I want to do it and not because I am good at it.

And why English? Even though it’s not my first language

This one is quite simple. Because English didn’t come easy for me. I like to learn foreign languages yet language is a difficult subject for me. Therefore I want to keep perfecting my English perpetually and I am hoping that people in the blog world would be supportive enough to help me get there.

12 thoughts on “Who and Why

  1. An impressive reading list, several there I’ll be checking out. I need more grit as well, have long recognized this, will continue checking out your blog!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I reviewed-commented on your post a while ago about the movie you seen. Movies are getting slightly lame sometimes lol. As for my webpage i might come out with another indie film myself. besides that I want to stay connected with you thru facebook and email cariss- FB Find Me at Tevin Ponder photo of a cigar.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hello Clarissa,
    I thought I would stop by than thank you for visiting my review site. I often visit random visitor’s blogs to return the support. I read your beautifully written introduction and as with other visitors I share the sentiment you expressed. Your blog is clean and uncluttered in appearance, professional, entertaining, and informative. Your writing is above average in vocabulary , grammar, and punctuation. You excel in the use of the English language.

    In my opinion you and your blog deserve every success.

    I for one will be back again on a regular basis to read your new reviews. I try to post 2-3 new reviews per week on all kinds of subjects and perhaps occasionally you may find one or two of interest. Feel free stop by and leave a comment, a book recommendation, or a book request.

    Wishing you every success in all your endeavors.

    Best regards, Nemo

    Like

  4. Hi Carissa. This is a frank self-evaluation, though i like to think you didn’t really need Grit to arrive at it. You already make yourself perfectly clear in English. I looked for a way to follow your blog but failed to find it, so maybe i’m not so sharp.

    Like

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